just come out here and I will go home with you...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
