they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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