plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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