I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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