But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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