So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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