dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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