i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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