Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
