I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
