Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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