New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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