he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
