This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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