She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
