I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
