yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
