Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
