If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
This can only be settled by a dance off.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
