honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
