help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
