I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
