im six kinds of drunk right now
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
