"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
