can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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