dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
