I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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