ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I see more hoeing in ur future
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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