YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
