Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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