You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
