seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What a dumb baby whore.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
