No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
