I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
