He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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