umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
