That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
