she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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