I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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