I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
