Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
