So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
