Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
