I want to walk on stilts...naked
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
