i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
