this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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