There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
