hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he told me I talked like a deaf person
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
