his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
