No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
